Feb 18 2017

by Heidi Leon Monges

On grieving and healing

sunset over the mediterranean sea

Many things have passed since my last entry. Some ok, some good and some really bad. You see, in my March and April favorites post of 2016 I shared with you the news about my pregnancy. At that time I was already at the end of my second trimester, and baby was planned to arrive by late August. However things weren’t as planned and I went to labour in mid July (33 weeks).

sunset over the mediterranean sea

As some of you realized after the absence of news, our baby boy didn’t survived.

The following months after our baby was gone have been a mix of pain, anger, fear, deception, depression and emptiness. Sometimes those emotions arrive in waves, others they arrive altogether, like a tsunami. So let’s call it hell on Earth.

We are slowly recovering, firstly physically which is not the hardest part (the female body is amazing after all) the toughest is as you can imagine internally. To heal from such loss is gonna takes us forever, or at least it feels like that. To expect that we will be the same persons we were before our baby D is not possible, but we are aware of that and we are only betting and actively working to feel better each day, you know like AA.

Today we are in a better and brighter place.

We are starting to laugh.

We are making peace with life.

And definitely we are learning to love life.

Again.

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One Comment

  1. Nannette says:

    Dear Heidi,
    We’ve lived through a very similar experience a long time ago and my thought are with you!!
    I can tell you that the pain takes a place though it never leaves.
    But yes, laugh and live again. Life wil be good again!
    Good luck
    xx

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